i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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