It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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