heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize