I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
