you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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