If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
