I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
