honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
