WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
