If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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