He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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