i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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