Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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