In the future we'll all be gay
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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