i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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