she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wish my penis had a tongue
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
