There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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