Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
