Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
