He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
