he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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