Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
