Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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