Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
