please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
