Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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