You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize