so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
