He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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