i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize