i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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