I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize