I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
