that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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