I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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