Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
