discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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