roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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