Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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