honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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