Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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