I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize