Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
