Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
