don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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