There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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