spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
