I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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