I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
