All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
