It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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