scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
