I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Randomize
