Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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