gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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