It was confusing and full of hummus
how do flat chested girls get laid?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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