idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just want to make out with him forever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
