Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think people are normalizing furries
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize