Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
