Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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