because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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