Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
